My sister's boyfriend's mum came over today to chat with my mum and when I told her that I wasn't at school because I'd been having panic attacks, she told me that her oldest son (who is in my year) was going through the same thing. When she told me everything that he's been going through for the past year, it was the EXACT same as me. He's had anxiety, panic attacks, exam stress and depression (I didn't say that I was also suffering from depression because my mum doesn't know) but anyway, she told me that he found it really helpful to tell all of his teachers what he's going through because they are a bit more lenient with him and give him extra support as well as letting him leave his lessons if he needs to. I think that doing that might really help me, I don't know, I'll think about it. It kind of scares me when people know what i'm going through, I don't know why.
My panic attacks today have made me scared to go to school tomorrow in case it happens again, what if this becomes a regular thing for me? part of my everyday routine. When i'm in lessons, everything just completely goes over my head because all I can think is 'Don't panic, Don't panic, Don't panic!' It's horrible, then I feel like everybody judges me for not being able to keep up, so I don't say anything. Then I get set homework and i'm too embarrassed to ask for help so I end up not doing it and getting into trouble which makes me anxious to go to the lessons because I know that i'm going to be in trouble for not doing the homework that I couldn't do because I couldn't concentrate in the lesson. So I keep skipping lessons so that I don't end up having a panic attack in the class but i' too scared to go to thee next lesson because my teachers will ask me where I was last time and I can hardly say that I was hiding in the toilets, crying and trying desperately not to have a panic attack because they don't know that I'm having panic attacks!
Basically what i'm thinking is that I should tell my teachers that I'm having panic attacks and struggling to keep up with the work because of my anxiety.
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