Failure

I have failed my theory test 3 times already because of my crappy anxiety. When I'm sat in that room all I can see is that little clock on the corner of the screen ticking away and It's like all the walls are closing in on me and I can feel everyone in the room staring at me, my vision goes blurry and I get really lightheaded until I feel like I'm going to faint so I click end the test and get out of the room as fast as I can. When I collect the results I know that I've failed before I've even read it.

On the day of my third theory test, I was a wreck. I had a massive panic attack in my drama lesson and had to go to the medical room. Before this nobody knew that I had panic attacks and this could have been my chance to tell school so that it would be on my record but stupidly, I told them that it was my first panic attack. Straight after my panic attack, my mum took me to my theory test and I went in there shaking. When I got to the room, Tigger was there (the guy I really like) which freaked me out even more because he had been in the lesson when I had a panic attack and he was the one who told me it was okay to leave. So I managed to get through the test without passing out, I picked up my results and went outside to find my mum, talking to Tigger!!!!!!

And now everyone keeps pressuring me to re-book the test but they don't understand how terrifying it is to me, It's not that I'm scared of failing because I know that I can re-take it as many times as I want I'm just terrified of going into that room, I'm starting to get anxious just thinking about it now.